Louise Hay is the founder of Hay House Publishing, and the author of many books, but possibly the most famous is ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ a book I first read maybe 15 years ago. Cheryl Richardson is a Life Coach and author and between them they have created an accessible and easy to read book all about how our outlook, attitudes and beliefs can affect every aspect of our life, from the simple to the fundamental.

The book starts with looking at Louise’s life, the journey she has been on, and it is quite a journey. I won’t go into the details but Louise touches on the moment when her life changed with a simple statement ‘if you are willing to change your thinking, you can change your life’. A simple concept and yet very powerful. Personally I know that my internal dialogue has dramatically affected my life – my negative self talk, especially about my mothering skills, only adds more pressure and stress. When I try to support myself, forgive myself, as I would a friend, then somehow things get a little easier, feels a little lighter.

Louise goes on to talk about how she became successful, writing her first book, surviving cancer, appearing on Oprah! She states that she released the need to control everything and started to ‘respond to life’. She just kept ‘answering the phone and opening the mail’ which I love. I have been in a place of great change recently, moving 12000 miles to a new country, leaving behind family, friends and a career. So there have been moments when I have been lost, looking for my direction in life again, and instead of trying to ‘control’ everything as I usually do, I have tried just answering the phone and opening the mail. It’s early days still, but here I am on my new venture of The Big Swell, and doing something new and exciting that I never would have ‘controlled’ into my life.

The next chapter looks at energy, what we give out is what we get back. Children are such a great reflection of this, the more stressed I become the more fractious they become, when I am calm so are they.

I hope this gives you a sense of the book, and how it touched me. I liked the parts of the book which talk about focussing on the small things, being grateful for what we have and seeing life in a positive way. I am a big believer in positive affirmations and this book has a great list of them at the back for everyday use. I now have, written on the wall of my shower, ‘I am showered with positive thoughts all day long’ and I read it to myself every morning. I have even started a ‘gratitude journal’ to give thanks for all I have in my life. On the first day I have to admit that I really struggled, as I did the first time I looked in the mirror and told myself ‘I love you’ as Louise recommends. In fact, I still have difficulty with the mirror work, such is the length of my history with low self-esteem, but my gratitude journal is getting easier. In fact, as the days go by I notice more and more things to be thankful for – that my children had a good day at school, that I have food on my table and that I am surrounded by people who love me.

So I guess my sister is right, this is a ‘self help’ book after all. Because me, my ‘self’, is who can help me the most. I am my greatest influence, the source of positivity and can also be my greatest critic if I let my ‘self’. So, with the help of Louise and Cheryl, as well as my family and friends, I know that I can create an exceptional life, in fact, if I choose to see it that way, my life already is exceptional. Yours is too.

Believe In Today – Your Life Is Now

The age purberty starts is getting younger in the Western World, currently girls can start puberty as early as 8, and for boys it is usually more like 10.

Girls:
Puberty normally takes place for girls between 8 and 13. It normally starts with the development of breasts and growth of pubic hair. About 1 to 2 years later girls will experience a growth spurt, and her body will start to change shape with fat being stored in the breasts and the hips. The final development for a girl is the menstrual cycle, which can happen at any age between 9 and 16, but normally takes place when they weigh around 40 kilos.
Boys:
Puberty can last between 2 and 5 years, normally taking place between 10 to 15 years old. It usually starts with changes in the testicles and the growth of pubic hair. Other changes are the lengthening of legs and arms, and broadening of shoulders and chest. The voice will start to ‘crack’ as it deepens. Changes also take place in the penis, which can sometimes be a concern to boys. Erections, which boys experience from infancy, will become more regular, and ultimately result in the development of semen and the first experience of ejaculation.
Shared experiences:
A common experience for puberty is pimples, for some this develops into acne and can require medical intervention.
While all the changes listed above are physical, emotional changes take place for both boys and girls as the hormones they are experiencing effect their state of mind. These changes involve becoming more self-conscious, seeking privacy and modesty. Young people may also experience feelings of invincibility, self importance, and believe that they are adults now. They may also experience more energy, sleep more and eat alot. Another feature is changeability, they may be unable to make a decision, or change their mind regularly.

So it all sounds like a rollercoaster. But one thing that I kept reading when doing my research was the importance of communication. We need to keep talking to our children, not necessarily in that one big ‘talk’, but little and often, making sure that they know whatever questions they have they can always ask us and that we will figure it out together.

It’s Sunday after a massive week, and I have spent the entire day in my PJ’s!  A day in PJ’s for me does not mean mooching around not doing anything though!  It means a day when I get up and start on a screed of things I want to achieve and do not stop to take a shower or even get changed.  I was busy thinking I had gotten away with it too, until a couple of friends arrived unannounced at about 5pm for a quick visit. Oh dear!  Mind you, on leaving, when they said they wouldn’t tell anyone they found me in my pj’s at 5pm on a Sunday, I gave them permission to tell the world.  In fact I said it would be in tonight’s blog.

It’s funny.  I’m fine with a day in pj’s  because it doesn’t happen often enough.  I have not had a day at home all day  since I can’t remember when.  I have finally rotated the boys clothes and sorted those to hand down to others as well as those that need to be put away for winter….and its January already!  I have cleared out the kitchen clutter and taken down the display of birthday cards since my 40th in late November and my husband’s birthday in December.  I have almost unpacked my bags from the recent trips up North and to Hastings.

…..But most excitedly of all, and most relevant to my idea of self sufficiency, I have baked two loavesof bread for us to eat this week (although not the babes as they won’t eat the seeds).    I love this bread recipe from Annabel Langbein’s “Free Range Cook” –  it’s called “Busy People’s Bread”, it takes 10 minutes to prepare, about 40 mins to cook and, even better,  you don’t need a breadmaker, as I have never gotten around to buying one of those.

I felt very satisfied as I slipped my own baked loaves into some recycled bread bags and put them in the fridge for yummy toast and sandwich bread for myself and my man this week.  I know it’s not much but it is something for this “busy” week!

I also had a friend of mine from the early Mothers Online days come and stay a night with her two children.  Our first babes started school at Westmere Primary together, and I always aspired to be as cool, calm and collected as her.  She had two children and bottled her own fruit etc.  She had a vege garden in the city and was always up to stuff.  Meanwhile I was pregnant (with number 4) and fairly grumpy with it.  I was living in a little box with 3 very young children and surrounded by too many people for my liking.  Suzanne was always great to me and she has gone on to do some really exciting stuff with Grey Lynn 2030, with Ecostore and now as her own little Online Marketing and Social Media genius at The Connector.  So it was great to have her and the kids visit.  She breezed in, made my kitchen her own (which I love) and threw together a yummy, healthy meal with such ease!  Again, I was left aspiring to be just like her when I grow up!  Thanks Suzanne!!

Then it was work for 2 more days of “unhealthy” family life in most cases!  The breakdown of human relationships never ceases to amaze me despite my work being in it for so long.  I am always grateful for all the training I have done in Communication and do my best to try and pass on advice that provides some kind of responsibility or empowerment for my clients.  After all, it takes two to tango!  Or I could always promote what this picture on the right suggests…

And finally, my big buzz of the week was the “Riverbend” Cricket Tournament I travelled down to Hawke’s Bay to watch Harrison play in.  I had to call myself a “Virgin Cricket Mum” and quite quickly realised I was definately not in the know.  Not only did I not have one of the necessary camp chairs to sit in all day, I had forgotten to pack my blanket to sit on and failed to put any sunscreen on my face the first day so ended  up looking like more of a ski bunny or panda bear than anything resembling a respectable “Cricket Mum”.   I was very grateful for my pal Gisele who took great care of me and the fact that I had known one of the coaches and a few of the children on the team since they were babies.  I was busy thinking I would have some nice time to myself without the other three babes, but frankly I was dreaming!  Except for the first night when Gisele and I treated ourselves to some yummy wine and tapas at a local winery, it was all really about cricket and my boy.  Up at 6.30am (after the first morning when I missed H bowl and take a wicket) and at the pitch by 8.30am, a 30 over match followed by a quick dash for lunch and then back for another 30 over match.  The boys were staying at Riverbend camp in one room with bunks three high, so you can imagine how tired they were by the end of it!  But it was a great experience and one I hope to have again….only I would make sure his Dad was with me next time because a “Cricket Mum” simply isn’t supposed to get out there on the pitch and practice “throwdowns” or batting with their 10 year old son.  I think I will just stick to the sunscreen, water and clean “whites” role that I now know I can handle!  Especially now that I know what type of chair I want for the sideline!

Well, that’s about the week.  I learnt that if we want our babes to be the best they can be at something we need to invest a whole lot of time. I was also reminded there is just some stuff that a Mum can’t do as well as a Dad can do. I also got the chance to hang out with one of my babes (and his whole cricket team plus some parents) without any interference from his siblings and I know he appreciated it.  We even finished our stay down there off with a lunch date by the sea…

I’m starting to think that January will be the month for thinking about and planning my “healthy” year. We’re already half way through after all and heading to the beach on Wednesday until the end of it.

Looking forward to having Rachael with me to plan in Paradise.  Also looking forward to hanging out with an Irish pal from Shanghai, so could be a little delayed on next week’s post.  Let me know if there is anything in particular you want to hear about!  This week I aim to at least make my first natural oven chips that the babes love and cutting out one regular processed grocery item at least!

xxx