Well I have to admit that there is nothing quite like getting your hands dirty to clear the mind. Today I embraced farm life and set about making myself a veggie garden. But first, let me back up a bit.
I woke this morning still with a sadness that weighed upon my heart. My mind has been turning over with all the questions about whether the move has been the ‘right’ decision and regretting all the things that I have left behind and now miss in England. So I started the day with asking my husband those awkward questions – are you happy? do you think we did the right thing? are you enjoying your job? all, of course with an agenda in my mind. and of course my husband answered predictably. He is happy. So I thought to myself that I have two choices here, I can either be miserable, or I can just get on with things. After all, I have chosen to be with my husband, and that is a choice I continue to make and want and therefore I have to accept what comes with that choice. So I got my ‘proactive’ hat on, and after a few tears, I sat my husband down to do what I do best, and we wrote a list. A good friend of mine introduced me to the concept of writing ‘a game’. The premise of this, as far as I chose to use it anyway, is to start with seeing what it is that you want and then working back to find the steps to achieve it. So we sat down with a piece of paper and wrote down where we want to be in a years time. What we wish to have, to achieve and for our children too. The we worked out how we wanted to achieve all those things, and being a social worker, I must have everything time framed so my poor husband now has a set of dates to which he is accountable! One of the things that we decided we wished to achieve is a ‘healthier lifestyle’. What does that look like? I asked. Well of course, one of the most obvious steps is to grow our own vegetables. Ok then, we need to grow a veggie garden. wehn shall we do that? My husband pauses and looks at me. We could do that today he says. So it begins. We decide that today we will build the veggie garden and then on Wednesday, a holiday here in New Zealand to commemorate ANZAC Day (in memory of those who lost their lives in the World Wars) we decided to plant our veggies. Of course I have no idea yet what to plant as we head in to winter, especially as we get some pretty fierce frosts here in the countryside (and suggestions??), but we are in process.
There is something very satisfying about creating something, and getting my hands dirty. I actually really enjoyed getting stuck in to the dirt, and my dog loved it even more! I loved a bit of hard work (although my husband did the proper hard work!) and I loved getting my kids involved too. We worked hard in the sun and at the end of it I felt a real sense of achievement. Not only for the veggie garden, but also the feeling of longevity. We are here to stay. For better or worse. Of course I am determined to make the better of it, after all, as a lovely person reminded me the other day – Life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself. That is my mantra at the moment.