Mothers Day, 2010 – not only was this the day the big swell launched this was a day that my son and I will remember for many, many years to come. Whilst the daylight was breaking outside, I reached across from my warm bed to the heater switch turning it to full. Inching back the curtain I looked out across the car park and noticed the frost struck windscreens lined up in a row of 10 or more. Tekapo had played host to many a tourist seeking a warm and cosy place to spend the night. My feet cold, I took a pair of warm socks from my bag on the floor. The next thing I heard was a wee voice from across the room whisper “Happy Mothers day, I love You!”. Those words warmed my heart and with that I leapt out of bed and headed to the shower.
Within the hour we were at the water’s edge mountain biking towards the far end of the lake. Almost an hour had passed before we turned our heads back to peruse the distance we had covered. Further and future we ventured – up and down shingle tracks and over steep banks where we could find them. This was a real adventure! This beautiful bike ride had been preceded by an evening the night before at the outdoor ice rink under the stars. My son and I
rescued each other many a time from the tumbles and thuds we took onto the hard, cold ice. In high spirits and lame with bumps and bruises we left for the backpackers at 9pm.
This Mothers day was all about creating a memory day – I gleaned great pleasure from doing what my son wanted to do – that which he deemed to be fun. I must have matured because today (at 39) was all about everyone else having fun. My sense of joy and accomplishment came from having my attention on others. Isn’t that strange! I set out to make my sons day the greatest day ever as rated by him and in so doing, I created the best possible day for myself. Admittedly, my daughter and husband were missed as they were at the other end of the country this year. Not ideal and yet okay. They too were looked after and had celebrated the previous Sunday with me as a mothers day – again the day had been focused on them being taken care of and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. What a privilege it is to belong to such exceptional children and what an honour it is to have a devoted and loving husband who adores family time as much as he adores me.
I joined with Minka to create the big swell because I believe in families growing together through playing together. I believe in children being the most precious gift we are ever given. From the moment children are born they are reliant on us for their everything – I carry an extremely strong sense of responsibility towards any child and especially my own. I believe that children are reliant on us as adults to care for their every need. To engage ourselves in their lives and contribute to them and their learnings in a way that empowers their own thinking so that they may each grow up to be the very best they can possibly become. We owe it to humanity and we owe it to the potential that every single child is to the world.
I love to nurture children – they are precious beings (sometimes they are extremely challenging beings) they are precious though and I have come to see that any resistance is simply our children communicating their independence. It is a challenge at times to harness this energy. I follow my instinct which over the years has grown in confidence to the stage that I now act without question. The big swell is about providing a forum in which women can be women, mums together, raising families – to be real and to be authentic. The best and the hardest thing I ever said to anyone was a few years ago when I shared with another mum – hey look, I smack my children from time to time and I don’t want to. Being honest was freeing – it gave me the forum to talk through the issue and to get to the heart of what was going on. I haven’t smacked my children again – I haven’t had to. Whatever needed to be worked through was talked through that day and resolved. A new way of managing a challenging behaviour became available to me. I am now free to enjoy my children, the good, the bad and the ugly – with grace.
Tell us what you need, today!
From one mother to another, all my love J
